Will There be Cake?

I have Lyme. I’d like to not have it anymore. I also just want cake.

In Retrospect, on Repeat…

I am pretty late on getting into the blogging game. Actually I prefer to use the term “electronic life recording” in my circumstances, so I want to prepare you for many posts written, in retrospect. This one from a Facebook post of mine (which really, let’s be honest, has been my excuse for a journal for the past several years) back on August 20th of this year.

“To stay positive… 15 Months is a long time to be acutely ill as my mother recently put it during one of my recent meltdowns where I cry I am at the end of my endurance and I don’t feel I’ll ever get better, BUT…

“Now we’ve got some marvelous models on enduring uncertainty and trusting God. First there were three young men Shadrach, Meshach, and Abbednego… as they were about to be thrown into a fiery furnace… “If it be so, king, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace”, and then the three words, “but if not, be known unto thee O king, that we will not serve thy Gods…”

On the beaches of Dunkirk, when 350,000 British soldiers were threatened by annihilation, there were critical hours… in that setting, a signal was sent from the beaches of Dunkirk to British military headquarters, a three word signal, “but if not.”, quoting from Daniel. They didn’t know if they would be rescued, but it didn’t matter, they would serve their king.

…There will be times in each of our lives when our faith must not be conditional upon his rescuing us. Because in fact, he may not, as we would choose to be rescued. … Again however, graceful endurance is not just surviving. But surviving as Job with his integrity intact.”,,, – Neal A. Maxwell.

So today, for the moment, I feel I can say with Job “Though he slay me, yet will I trust in Him.” We all have “but if not” situations in our lives. Mine is painful and grueling and long and indeterminate. I thought I would be better like, 8 months ago, and August has been the worst thus far. Go forward with faith anyways. That is all.”

My memory hasn’t been serving me well these days, in fact it has downright disappointed me, so I can’t remember exactly what was going on in my day that prompted me to write that. But be assured, I was certainly couch bound soaking in antibiotic drips and likely feeling weary of treatment. In fact I believe July and August I was experiencing extreme treatment fatigue. I only recall waking one morning and feeling the desire to write this… a moment of strength that always seems to come right when I want to quit.

As it usually goes with Facebook, the comments responding to my post always give me a further boost into taking on the day, and the day after, and the day after that, and so on until my next emotional crisis. Bless my little group of Facebook supporters.

Oct 19 postOct 19 post 2


One comment on “In Retrospect, on Repeat…

  1. Bec
    January 24, 2016

    You gotta use what works!


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Back, to realityyy 🎶 -

#theneighbourhood #slc #inversion #saltlakecity Last day with the past... #backtothecitytoday #bloomingtonpetroglyphpark #stgeorge #utahisrad #werutah Who’s mans is this? Oh, mine. 
#fromlastnight #desertsunset #stgeorge #utah From 200 BC to 1250 AD Anasazi Indians scribbled bunches of stuff on rock in a little slot canyon in #southernutah and more than 760 years later I came along and thought it was pretty kewl. -
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Actual quote, “Dustin give me my phone” 🙃 -
#snowcanyon #utahisrad #beautahful #petrifieddunes I made one measly official goal for 2018. Except it’s not measly. It’s mealsy. 😄😄😄... (I’ll show myself out). -
But seriously. As I’ve been clawing my way out of the dark pit that is Lyme, I’ve tried numerous diets. I’ve been low-carb for years. I tried keto. I tried low-fruit. I tried extremely high fat. I’ve gone no dairy. I’ve been no gluten for-EVER. I did the low-histamine diet. I ended things with sugar. I’ve switched to grass-fed meats. Guys, I’ve tried it all. Some helped, some are still essential, some made no impact, some made me feel worse, one ended up being a nightmare (keto, I’m looking at you). -
I know diet is a huge piece of my puzzle and I know I’m hugely affected by the food I eat. Soooo, on Dec 31st I did the only thing left and took the plunge and went plant-based. Overnight. Really I feel like I’ve been prepping for this my whole life... getting there in stages. I was always too afraid to attempt, thinking it would be extremely hard to not just follow, but to do right so you don’t become deficient in anything. I researched it for a week prior and the transition has actually been so easy for me. I’m almost two weeks in with zero dairy, gluten, sugar, processed food, or meat (with the exception of one serving of salmon at a restaurant). I already feel a difference (more energy, far less food reactions, better digestion, better sleep, and less heart pounding... hallelujah). There was only one time last week I thought “dang, I could eat some ribs right now...” but then I went to bed and forgot about it. It hasn’t been hard at all other than slightly more food prep. -

Sooo, so far so good. My goal is three months and then reassess. I will report any lasting successes in symptom reduction. I refuse to become an annoying vegan and I also think life shouldn’t be so rigid that I will ever say “never”. There IS ice cream and ribs in my future. But for now, me and my juicer are BFFs and plz don’t disturb my sprout garden. Here’s to going green! 🌱🌿🍏🥦 -
Lastly, FACT: these tacos were bomb.com. ✌🏻 -
#Lyme #lymetreatment #plantbased #plantbaseddiet #chronicillness This weekend: St George, UT for some 🌴🌞
In a few weeks: Grand Tetons for some ❄️🏂🏔
In a month: Washington DC for 💊👨🏻‍⚕️ Busy times ahead and I’m not mad about it. Also here is a random pic I took recently in the mountains. 
#girlneedssomeexcitementinherlife #bigcottonwoodcanyon #snowbirdresort #alta #utahisrad #slc Counting down the seconds until he explodes with rabid, lunatic barking... portrait of a Sunday. 
#sunday #doggotthingstogaurd #peaceandquietormayhem #portraitmode

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