Will There be Cake?

I have Lyme. I’d like to not have it anymore. I also just want cake.

The Greatest ENT in the World.

So, I have a problem. A problem that exists in my huge basket of other problems. But we’re going to single this one out today for the sake of my story. True story.

Around the end of 2003 I was four months into a “weird sickness” that followed a bout with Mono and seemed to want to stay. With it I had developed this annoying symptom of hearing my heartbeat in my left ear. Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh, all day. I was told my illness was Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and endured the two years it seemed to last before I improved and went on with my life. However, the ear thing kind of still happened on and off since then. Ten years later during the great Lyme explosion of 2013, the ear whooshing returned full-time and with a vengeance, only this time it was also accompanied by a feeling of pressure behind my face, feeling of fullness in my head, pressure and pain in my ear, feeling underwater, and sometimes, odd sensations of movement in my head and face that would press against my sinuses – all on the left side only. A year and a half later, this still remains. To put it frankly, I’m sick of it. Going mad even, because of it.

Dr. J believes it to be damage/neuropathy/infection of the trigeminal nerve, which is cranial nerve 5 (CN V) to all you neurology jargon lovers. Why does Lyme have to ruin everything! *whine*.

Just to be on the safe side, I got everything checked out by an Ear, Nose, and Throat doctor yesterday. I was skeptical even during the appointment-making process. So many MD’s have been sent to my “Do Not Count On During Lyme” list:

1. P̶r̶i̶m̶a̶r̶y̶ ̶C̶a̶r̶e̶ ̶P̶h̶y̶s̶i̶c̶i̶a̶n̶

2. E̶R̶ ̶D̶o̶c̶t̶o̶r̶ ̶#̶1̶

3. E̶R̶ ̶D̶o̶c̶t̶o̶r̶ ̶#̶2̶

4. E̶R̶ ̶D̶o̶c̶t̶o̶r̶ ̶#̶3̶

5. C̶a̶r̶d̶i̶o̶l̶o̶g̶i̶s̶t̶

6. N̶e̶u̶r̶o̶l̶o̶g̶i̶s̶t̶

7. E̶n̶d̶o̶c̶r̶i̶n̶o̶l̶o̶g̶i̶s̶t̶

8. C̶h̶i̶l̶d̶h̶o̶o̶d̶ ̶P̶r̶i̶m̶a̶r̶y̶ ̶C̶a̶r̶e̶ ̶P̶h̶y̶s̶i̶c̶i̶a̶n̶

9. E̶R̶ ̶D̶o̶c̶t̶o̶r̶ ̶#̶4̶

10. O̶s̶t̶e̶o̶p̶a̶t̶h̶i̶c̶ ̶D̶o̶c̶t̶o̶r̶ ̶(̶L̶L̶M̶D̶ ̶#̶1̶)̶

11.E̶R̶ ̶D̶o̶c̶t̶o̶r̶ ̶#̶5̶

12. E̶R̶ ̶D̶o̶c̶t̶o̶r̶ ̶#̶6

13. O̶B̶/̶G̶Y̶N̶

14. E̶R̶ ̶D̶o̶c̶ ̶#̶7̶

Perhaps I, in the back of my mind, had already added the ENT to my list and self-sabotaged my own appointment. But to be fair, he made it really, really easy. Cue story.

After taking half my lifetime to fill out all the new patient paperwork and list all of my current medications and supplements (Uh, Miss, can I have a second sheet of paper for this?), I am led back to a room and given a hearing test in some special little hearing test booth. Then I am led to a room to wait for the doctor. He eventually comes in after I’ve completely memorized all of the sinus cavities and inner ear parts from the wall posters. Sound familiar? I know I’m not the only one.

Him: “Hello, I’m Doctor Neilson” *offers his hand to shake*

Me in my head: Are you? *shakes his hand?* Your mouth is saying Dr. Neilson but your face is saying John Malkovich. 

I found him on the internet. What is happening.

So Doctor “Neilson” proceeds with the basic checkup things while I tell him the nightmare of my Lyme issues which was unavoidable as no doctor can look at a PICC line and ignore it. He then looks over my hearing test and he tells me my hearing is “actually superb” – Duh, I know. My sensitivity to sound these days has become a super power of torment because only I can hear the neighbor two doors down making coffee and the noises our fridge makes sounds like a NASA launch firing up and there’s this one commercial on TV for a sportsmen’s outfitter store that features an elk making some high-pitched (with low undertones?) honk whistle that sends me into the fetal position. I know my hearing is superb. Thanks though.

After the checkup rigmarole and looking over relevant past medical testing such as my brain MRI and head CT Angiogram, the following conversation ensues.

Doctor “Neilson”: How did you get Lyme disease? I know it positively doesn’t exist here in Utah…

Me: I contracted it in Michigan where I grew up and it wasn’t diagnosed until recently.

Me in my head: More ignorance I see.poker-face-1

Doctor “Neilson”: Sounds like you’ve been through quite the ordeal.

Me: Yes.

Doctor “Neilson”: Well, I’m sorry, everything looks fine, your previous testing shows no vascular abnormalities, your MRI shows no tumors, and my exam showed a perfect looking ear and normal sinus cavities.

Me: Okay.

Me in my head: Okay…

Doctor “Neilson”: All I can tell you is that you are a young, pretty, unfortunate thing.


Me: *some kind of snort/hummph sound I don’t know I was caught off guard whywouldadoctorsaythat*

Me in my head: I’m sorry, what? Really? *looking around* Is this some kind of joke? *looking around the walls for some type of framed medical license* Did you get these medical posters off Amazon? Where are the cameras. Am I on some type of show? You’re really John Malkovich aren’t you. He would say something like that. This is ridiculous. Can you tell me what the diagnostic code for “young, pretty, unfortunate thing” is so I can give that to my insurance company? 


Doctor “Neilson”: I wish you good luck, thank you for coming to see me, I have found your visit very interesting.

Me: Thanks.giphy (1)

Me in my head: Give me back my $45 insurance co-pay. 

15. E̶N̶T̶ ̶D̶o̶c̶t̶o̶r̶  – Confirmed.


6 comments on “The Greatest ENT in the World.

  1. Renee
    August 22, 2016

    I too have issues with my trigeminal nerve chain from Lyme/Co-infections. My face feels like it vibrates on the left side. I have pain from my throat to eye and have long bouts of disequilibrium. When I saw the ENT doctor, it was pretty much a worthless trip…

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Bec
    February 7, 2016

    Wut! Yes, I have that same checklist of completely useless doctors who long ago forgot that “Do no harm…” includes systematic ignorance from the mainstream medical community. Amen sistah.


  3. Shawn Boreta
    March 18, 2015

    Yep, another wasted session with the uninformed and ignorant many. That is why I went 15 years only going to the doctor when I was desperate, and even then it was detrimental to my mind, body and soul. I am so sorry Tara.

    Liked by 1 person

    • tarathackeray
      March 18, 2015

      It’s ok. I am laughing about it now 🙂


  4. othermary
    March 18, 2015

    I clicked on like, but but I actually HATE it. I’ve had Lyme’s, but was fortunate enough to be treated promptly (thank you bull’s eye marking). Our medical system is so good, and yet in so many ways sooo bad! I do hope you can find a doctor who isn’t a twit.


    • tarathackeray
      March 18, 2015

      Amen! So glad you caught your bugs quickly 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


This entry was posted on March 18, 2015 by in Chronic Illness, Chronic Lyme, Humor, Lyme Disease and tagged , , , .
Follow Will There be Cake? on WordPress.com

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 264 other followers


Instagram? Hit. Me. Up.

Back, to realityyy 🎶 -

#theneighbourhood #slc #inversion #saltlakecity Last day with the past... #backtothecitytoday #bloomingtonpetroglyphpark #stgeorge #utahisrad #werutah Who’s mans is this? Oh, mine. 
#fromlastnight #desertsunset #stgeorge #utah From 200 BC to 1250 AD Anasazi Indians scribbled bunches of stuff on rock in a little slot canyon in #southernutah and more than 760 years later I came along and thought it was pretty kewl. -
#petroglyphs #snowcanyon #utahisrad #utah #hikeutah Nice rack. 🦌

#whenthesituationcallsforit #pleasedontfeedtheanimals #stgeorge #evenstevens “Step into my backyard... I’ve been waiting for you 😏 “
Actual quote, “Dustin give me my phone” 🙃 -
#snowcanyon #utahisrad #beautahful #petrifieddunes I made one measly official goal for 2018. Except it’s not measly. It’s mealsy. 😄😄😄... (I’ll show myself out). -
But seriously. As I’ve been clawing my way out of the dark pit that is Lyme, I’ve tried numerous diets. I’ve been low-carb for years. I tried keto. I tried low-fruit. I tried extremely high fat. I’ve gone no dairy. I’ve been no gluten for-EVER. I did the low-histamine diet. I ended things with sugar. I’ve switched to grass-fed meats. Guys, I’ve tried it all. Some helped, some are still essential, some made no impact, some made me feel worse, one ended up being a nightmare (keto, I’m looking at you). -
I know diet is a huge piece of my puzzle and I know I’m hugely affected by the food I eat. Soooo, on Dec 31st I did the only thing left and took the plunge and went plant-based. Overnight. Really I feel like I’ve been prepping for this my whole life... getting there in stages. I was always too afraid to attempt, thinking it would be extremely hard to not just follow, but to do right so you don’t become deficient in anything. I researched it for a week prior and the transition has actually been so easy for me. I’m almost two weeks in with zero dairy, gluten, sugar, processed food, or meat (with the exception of one serving of salmon at a restaurant). I already feel a difference (more energy, far less food reactions, better digestion, better sleep, and less heart pounding... hallelujah). There was only one time last week I thought “dang, I could eat some ribs right now...” but then I went to bed and forgot about it. It hasn’t been hard at all other than slightly more food prep. -

Sooo, so far so good. My goal is three months and then reassess. I will report any lasting successes in symptom reduction. I refuse to become an annoying vegan and I also think life shouldn’t be so rigid that I will ever say “never”. There IS ice cream and ribs in my future. But for now, me and my juicer are BFFs and plz don’t disturb my sprout garden. Here’s to going green! 🌱🌿🍏🥦 -
Lastly, FACT: these tacos were bomb.com. ✌🏻 -
#Lyme #lymetreatment #plantbased #plantbaseddiet #chronicillness This weekend: St George, UT for some 🌴🌞
In a few weeks: Grand Tetons for some ❄️🏂🏔
In a month: Washington DC for 💊👨🏻‍⚕️ Busy times ahead and I’m not mad about it. Also here is a random pic I took recently in the mountains. 
#girlneedssomeexcitementinherlife #bigcottonwoodcanyon #snowbirdresort #alta #utahisrad #slc Counting down the seconds until he explodes with rabid, lunatic barking... portrait of a Sunday. 
#sunday #doggotthingstogaurd #peaceandquietormayhem #portraitmode

Twitter? Youbetcha.

%d bloggers like this: